First of all, I have to drive an hour just to get to the theater and back, so overall traveling time comes into play for me when I am determining the worth of a movie. Also, I’m no movie expert, I don’t know about the technical aspects of a movie (and I honestly don’t ever care to, I feel that over analyzing movies like so many do would only worsen my experience), I don’t know what good directing looks like, I don’t know what makes a producer and good producer, I don’t know a lot of what Smashy and others here know about movies, but I do know what I like and don’t like.

Ok, enough of that nonsense, lets get down to business.

The movie is filled with lots of people I like… ok… not really. It has one person I like, Jack Black, the rest I couldn’t care less about; their names hold no weight for me. Jack Black however I love, I’ve loved everything he’s ever been in, I love the man and I really wanted to love him in this movie, but I couldn’t. The dialogue is so awful; the actors were all trying way too hard to act like actors did in the thirties. Nobody could pull it off, everybody ended up sounding cheesy, ridiculous and over the top. The start of the movie is SLOW, so very, very, very slow. Unfortunately, it doesn’t pick up at all for a good ninety-minutes or so.

I was so bored for the first hour and a half; I contemplated going back out to the arcade and just playing video games. There was nothing at all to grab me and pull me into the movie. It felt like I was sitting in a theater watching a movie instead of feeling like I was part of it. That all changed once they got to Skull Island. The pace, the acting, the overall feel of the movie drastically changed. It turned into a GOOD movie. The CGI of Kong was absolutely flawless, the detail was amazing and the facial expressions really made the beast for me. However, once you combined two elements of CG together, it all went to shit. When Kong was running around with people in his fists, it looked so awful, when the people were running away from a heard of Dinosaurs, it looked fucking AWEFUL. It was so obvious, as well; they really dropped the ball in this area.

One thing they had managed to do well was create an awesome feel of power and strength coming from Kong. When he fought the Dinosaurs I sat in complete awe as he ripped them apart, I was completely drawn into the movie while Kong was doing what he does best. The best scenes in the movie are no doubt the scenes that have Naomi and Kong together. There are often any words, but you can feel what is going on between them. The sense of emotion and passion coming from Kong was amazing. Unfortunately, all good things come to an end.

Just like in the beginning of the movie, once they left Skull Island, everything sucked again. Everything moves SO SLOW and feels drawn out. It’s like they originally set out to make a three and a half hour movie, but didn’t have the content, but refused to make it shorter. The very end of the movie picks up. Why? Because of Kong and Naomi, again. The end scenes had me on the verge of tears (yes, I am a sissy), but it just didn’t give me that shove to push me over the edge. King Kong is a movie that SHOULD make you cry, but this one just didn’t do it.

Overall I give the movie 2 out of 5 stars. For two reasons, Naomi Watts is hot as hell and the way they pulled off Kong’s emotions and facial expression were fantastically flawless.

For me, the movie isn’t worth my time. I had to take almost six hours out of my day to watch this film and I was anything but impressed. Is it worth seeing? I guess so, but I certainly wouldn’t choose to see this film over another one I wanted to see. Would I rent it? Not if it was my money. If somebody happens to have the movie, by all means, go kill 4 hours. But I wouldn’t go out of my way to see this, and I definitely wouldn’t watch it twice.